Tonight, we did inventory at the bookstore. Which means that we spent hours counting books and little whatnots, including this particular treasure:
A nice little tin that will, apparently, gird your loins (quite literally) for the big event. Except that it seems to have a glaring hole in the list of contents:
Unless, of course, you're looking for the Safe and Effective Way to Lose Your Virginity (And Get Pregnant and/or Something Nastier). I was tempted to hunt down a couple of the Darwin Award condoms (which we also sell sometimes... hey, bookstores can be sassy too) and duct tape them on.
Also, I think I missed the boat on seeing Shatner as any kind of sexy. My first introduction to him was Boston Legal, so the immediate image that arises to his name is the stubby-fingered, rather bumbling, and most certainly mad, Denny Crane.
***
We counted an obscene number of Twilight books. It made me imagine what sort of place I might spend eternity in if I were a horrible person and offered no redeeming qualities to the world. It would be a library, one of those magnificent ones housed in a building so beautiful that it makes you sigh multiple times because you keep forgetting to breathe. And every single book in that library would be something like Twilight, in ranks and ranks of shiny black jackets. To complete the torture, the movie theater across the street would only show films like Michael Clayton.
4 comments:
Megan - that photo came out even better than I thought it would. Which circle of hell could that be, I wonder.
I think I would prefer Proust or Einstein condoms myself - for laughs of course. Darwin is pretty great. No More Morons!
I think Twilight is the "box wine" of the book business. Everyone turns up his or her nose at it, but it makes lots of money and pays the bills. Just like the wine store employee wants everyone to appreciate that Chateau Latour, the book store employee is looking for the Hammett reader. (reference fully intentional)
As for Proust condoms, is remembering things past really what you want to be doing?
Mlle. X: These are extra amusing, as I think they have something insulting printed on the wrapper, something along the lines of not passing on sub par genes.
Marc: Twilight just frustrates me because it is so fully awful -- poorly written, unoriginal, and distasteful -- at a time when there is so much GOOD work that would appeal to a similar audience. And, unlike wine, there is no price difference to be an excuse.
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