Wednesday, April 22, 2009

helpful hints for bookstore customers, part 1

Gracious visitors to our humble bookstore,

Please do remember that there is a small area around each of us booksellers into which only our familiars and beloveds should intrude. It's our envelope of privacy, our small and comforting sanctum, and though we appreciate the enthusiasm that causes you to lean forward and place your face closer and closer to ours, until we can smell your perfume, your supper, your drink, your smoke of choice, the proximity shakes us. We will swallow our words and forget your questions, and we will back away, trying to get enough air to breathe.

Many thanks.


Karla said...

Many welcomes. I'll remember that. Close talkers are a pain in the arse.

Stefani Nellen said...

And then...just when you think it can't get any worse than their breath misting your face and an up-close vista of the pores on the tip of their nose...they encase your shoulder or lower arm in a butter-soft yet steely grip.

There's one way to repel them, though. Withdraw and show open disgust. This usually mortifies them enough to force a retreat.

Seriously...some people.

Lauren said...

What she said. The last time this happened, I gave a Look and the guy actually recoiled and said "Sorry for interrupting your reading!" Surprisingly effective.

Megan Kurashige said...

*sigh* I think I need to hone my Look. It isn't quite up to effective standard.

Karla said...

Sense memory. Keep a mirror handy. Call up the most repulsive image (or odor) you can think of. Look in the mirror. Remember the look, and how you're feeling when you're looking at yourself. Then it's just a matter of working it and owning it.

Bookgeek said...

Thank you. Can we post this somewhere in the store? I, of course, simply back away